Thursday, January 20, 2005

Grossman


Have You Seen This Man?!

Grossman is distinct from He-Boy. He-Boy is the kind of muscle-bound pusshead that gets roles as an extra in Kill Bill Vol. 1. He spends all his time harassing real life girls and thinking that he’s doing them a favour. Grossman gave up on real life contact with real life girls a long time ago—somewhere around kindergarten. He realized that real life effort was too much work and decided to go soft and sweaty instead. Grossman lives in every country and in every culture, but in Japan he generally looks like the guy in the photo above. His birthday tells us he’s forty-something, but he’s still the beady eyed, soft-bellied, sweaty boy that he was in grade school. Grossman is, as a matter of principle, indifferent to all other life forms. In the train he noisily plops his slovenly bulk onto the seat, kicks off his shoes, and begins reading his perverted Japanese manga (or sometimes just conventional pornography). Then he pulls out his convenience store bento (box lunch), snorts it down and smacks his lips, breathing heavily at the same time. I am not kind to Grossman. Truth be told, I do not like him. A few train rides ago I’d had it up to the yin-yang and determined that if Grossman was going to violate my person by pulling out his sleaze and letting it all hang out—in front of me and the rest of the general public—then I was going to violate his person by boldly photographing him without warning, permission, or apology, and putting his picture on the internet. Grossman lives in every country and in every culture, and if you ride the trains in urban Japan you are certain to meet him on a regular basis. In case you haven’t heard yet, it’s open season on Grossman. レッツハンティング (“Let’s hunting”)!