Saturday, March 26, 2005

In Which I Assure the World That I Did Not Always Just Play Dress Up and Barbie Dolls with My Sisters

There has been some discussion in the comments section this past week as to whether my play habits while in Japanese elementary school were, well, of a sissy nature. In order to prove my childhood masculinity, complete with imperialist aspirations and a penchant for patriarchy, I am presenting here an unedited extract from my 小学生 (shougakusei) Diary.

Sunday, January 31 [1988]

When I went to feed my chickens I wandered if I’d find a dead chicken again. I was glad that they were all right.

I baby sited during church time. Baby siting is harder then I thought. Mommy told me to feed sarah (The baby of our family) Downuts but sarah fed me more downuts then I fed her. Church Is the room mommy and Daddy sleep in. It is big because it’s really 2 rooms divided by removeable doors. Daddy preaches every week.

After church Daddy and I started making my module airplane. We spent more time eating downuts than working on my plane and quite in the middle to make Birthday cards.

After that I added things to my map. I made my country 10 times biger by adding a 0 to the 50 miles diagram. So now 2 inches is 500 miles long. Daddy said that I should add another 0 the way I cramed things in. My map is a game I play with my sisters. We each have a country of our own. In the begining Anna was queen over all the land. But I over threw her the next day. Then I made a lot of laws that are still in my history box. Then Leta and Anna gained up on me. They tied me up with a skiping rope and put me in the qlay house and fed me my own pinuts. When I untied my self I ait the pinut and got out of the play house. Then I wrote The Goldian Bill of rights. Now my country is bigger than anybody elses. Leta didn’t bother to write a bill of rights, all she said was, I’m going to have my own country, and she got it. Now we ran out of things to do so I’m going to make a map of a new contunant and we’re going to have coloneys. We are pretending to be in the 1600s.

The Map of the New “Contunant” for Our “Coloneys”

This Christmas, Sarah Made Painstakingly Perfect Replicas of All “Unknown Kingdoms” Documents for Each of Her Four Older Siblings