Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Things I Have Not Been Eating Lately: the Return of “Gaijin’s Video of the Week”, Now Renamed “Keitai Cinema”

Now playing in Google Video as of 28 June 2006

In Japan, the staff parties just never end in March and April. At one of the parties I attended last week there was served what I believe is known as “something something dance.” The “something something,” of course, stands for something that I can’t quite remember but, regardless, it refers to a living abalone (an expensive shellfish featured in a previous post) squirming on a stone plate. A fuel pellet underneath is set alight at the diner’s leisure, and the awabi (Japanese for “Abalone”) writhes as only a shellfish can writhe until it succumbs to the heat in a sea of sizzling butter.

I did not eat mine, but I set a fire under it anyway. Later on the very intoxicated school janitor asked me if I was going to eat it and, taking the hint, I suggested he have his way with it.

A long time ago I introduced a new feature I called “Gaijin’s Video of the Week” but the project petered out because I couldn’t figure out a convenient way to deliver the videos. Well, I am picking up momentum on the vlog front again, so I will just plough ahead and hope for the best. I am calling the new version “Keitai Cinema,” keitai being the Japanese term used for cell phone. I call it thus because the video function on my Vodafone 602SH is the only video recording equipment I have. The hallmark of Keitai Cinema is that all of my videos produced under that name will be lamer than the crude technology used to put them together warrants. They are to be unsophisticated, artistically challenged and mostly pointless. This is to bring balance to the host of snazzy Aomori JET vlogs by injecting a dose of C grade home video into the system. To celebrate this degradation of the Aomori JET vlogging community I shall reintroduce my very first keitai home video . . .