Friday, September 16, 2005

In Which Ikokuma Elementary Demonstrates Its Superiority in Squid Education

And a Lovely Time Was Had by All!! After the anti-climactic nature of my participation in the Shimofuro Children’s Squid Butchering Fest I wasn’t particularly excited at Ikokuma Elementary School yesterday when I heard that their fifth graders (i.e. six ten-year-old boys) were having Squid Ed class in the afternoon. However, when I walked out the front entrance on my way home, this is the sight that greeted my eyes. The real deal. These squid weren’t lying around dead in a tub in the teachers’ room all day. They were trucked in by the municipal office in large saltwater tanks. Moreover, instead of some disgruntled looking middle-aged woman giving the kids the same old lines from last year (“Squid have three hearts. Here, come take a poke at them. You can see the transparent bodily fluids being pumped through its innards.”) there were three young civil servants from the fishery and forestry departments giving a professional lecture on the life and times of squid. Here are some things that I learned yesterday that I didn’t learn in Shimofuro . . .

. . . squid spit a powerful jet of water at you when you take them out of the water. I assume that this is the squidly escape mechanism, instinctively propelling itself away from danger with a build in aqua jet engine . . .

Okay, this photo is superfluous, but I included it because I thought this squid looks like an alien (go ahead, take a closer look by clicking on the image) . . .

. . . this kid wasn’t the only person the squid took their revenge on . . . their nice lady teacher took a direct hit in the face and chest as well, drenching her pink sweatshirt . . . . . . . .



. . . the best way to stay dry is to toss the squid away from you, onto the pavement, before it has a chance to fire . . . . . . . .


In a previous post I claimed that squid do not object loudly to being terminated the way that rabbits and pigs do. I was wrong. They object very loudly and very violently with shuddering gasps that sound like an expert kid making music with his armpits.