Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Where Did All the Muscles Go?

Behold the ravages of age. When I set forth on my North American adventure at the tender age of seventeen, I was wiry and fit. Ten years later, I returned to Japan pasty white and soft (this seems to be what happens to a lot of people when they move from Japan to North America). I reached a peak level of personal mass at 72-3kg. Even my platoon commanders’ course in the army reserves couldn’t reverse this trend. Then I returned to Japan. One year later, just a week after getting married, I was officially weighed in at 66.4kg. Then a long period of over nourishment began as my wife introduced me to a brave new world of three square meals a day. They were healthy meals but they were big, and there were three of them each time the sun rose.

For a while, I kept the consequences at bay by riding my bicycle to Oma every morning. Then it got cold and dark in the mornings, and we began staying in bed an extra hour and a half, waiting for the sun to rise.

My Brother-In-Law’s Wife Explains the Finer Points of the Irresistible Osechi Her Parents Make Every New Year

Then New Years came and I was caught up in a brutal, endless cycle of feasting. I was right back to 72-3kg. Spring is coming, and something has to be done about this. If Gaijin for Life is to be fit to carry out Bear Watch operations this season, he must be fit. He needs his muscles back!